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08:28pm 09/11/2012
 
 
M
Well, I’m volunteering at the Gaming Expo tomorrow and I’m a bit scared because of the guys (yes, plural) who like me. I have huge intimacy issues when it comes to men, even though I’m totally okay with and crave platonic love from people, serious non-platonic stuff scares me. XD I don’t know if it is because I was raised ultra-conservative or because fell in love hard once and that didn’t work out and dating is always fairly horrible so I’m scared off forever but… there you go.

What I should do is be straight and say I’m not interested in dating right now. But I tried that and it didn’t work. :(

So now I’m reading articles on the friend-zone in attempts to figure out how men’s brains work and I’m still no closer to figuring out what to do. Besides growing a couple of balls myself. I dunno.

D: I feel kind of dumb because I’m old and I should have this crap figured out by now. My roommate said I should avoid places like conventions where guys are and that’s not going to happen because I love hanging out with people like myself.

I end up hanging out around this one particular guy because he shows no interest in me whatsoever. Strangely enough his lack of interest makes me like him a little bit more than the interested folk. Which is messed up I know. -_-
 
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 jennyweatherup
 
06:49pm 11/11/2012 (UTC)
 
 
Jenny Weatherup
If it provides you with any comfort, it seems like the problem of geek harassment has become more prominent, so at least some guys are starting to see it as a problem (or at least something that other people frown upon).
http://captainawkward.com/2012/08/11/the-c-word/#more-3779
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/08/09/an-incomplete-guide-to-not-creeping/

I don't think it's easy for anyone to turn someone down, so don't feel bad that you 're struggling with this. I would avoid the 'boyfriend' line, myself; it won't work for everyone, and it doesn't get to the root of the matter (some delusional guys might consider the boyfriend to be a temporary stumbling block). 'I'm not interested in dating right now' is better, and I think a simple 'I'm flattered, but not interested' might be a more direct option. Also, just because the guy got upset when you set a boundary doesn't mean it was the wrong thing to do; some sort of confrontation is probably inevitable. As long as you aren't unnecessarily rude, you shouldn't worry.
 
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